Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, LOVE leaves a memory no one can steal. Irish Proverb

Friday, March 26, 2010

Shattered ~ My journey in pictures

I was so excited! I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child on my third son's birthday (July 2, 2009)

I put together a little "gift" for my husband ~ two newborn cloth diapers, the positive pregnancy test and I stamped a little tag with the exciting news on it.

On August 21, 2009 I had an ultrasound (I was over 13 weeks pregnant) that showed a happy, active baby with a heartbeat of 182 bpm.

September 11, 2009 (which is my dad's birthday) when I got home from my oldest two sons' soccer game I discovered blood.

September 12, 2009 I gave birth, at home, to a perfectly formed tiny 16 week gestation baby. Who knew you could lose a baby after the first trimester? I thought I was "safe" once we hit 13 weeks ~ we told everyone I was pregnant.....

I am a babyloss mama, an angel mommy ~ I will never be the same and I will never not hurt. My heart has been forever broken, unable to be "fixed" ~ I will always have a scar even if my heart does heal.

No mother should ever have *this* kind of ornament hanging on her Christmas tree...Baby's first Christmas ~ yes! Merry Christmas from Heaven ~ No!

I am hoping that one day out of MY ashes beauty will rise.


Yankee Girl said...

Beautiful post. (((HUGS)))

Lisette said...

You are right no one should ever go through a loss like this. ((HUGS))

Trisha Larson said...

I'm sorry.

I know your pain. I know it well. You are not alone and you did not deserve this.

I wrote a post on DROWNING on my blog. It was my very first post ever! When you are ready I would love for you to read it. I wrote it so that others would know that they are not alone.


Emily said...

My heart is breaking for you. That baby was so wanted and loved!