Does it make me strange to name a baby I never knew the gender of? I told Weston not to check to see if our baby was a boy or a girl ~ at the time knowing that it was my daughter that was waiting in heaven for me would've have killed me....and I honestly mean that ~ I would've ended my life. I have prayed for years for a daughter. Don't hear what I'm not saying ~ I love my boys ~ I have three beautiful, wonderful sons that I wouldn't trade for life itself....but there is *something* missing ~ ever since I found out I was pregnant the first time I secretly hoped it was a daughter. When I got pregnant the second time I PRAYED for a daughter and actually became quite depressed when it was another boy (knowing what I know now I would have REJOICED for a healthy baby at 20 weeks and then again at 25 weeks ~ no matter what the gender) and when my third son was born I had pretty much resigned myself to boys, boys, boys, boys! Although my third son looks a *lot* like I did when I was a baby (which means he is pretty much the cutest baby ever ~ ha) and is pert-near a spitting image of my dad when he was the same age as DoodleBird (yes I look like my dad).
But then.....I got pregnant again. EVERYTHING was different! I wasn't sick 24/7, the heartbeat was so high, I just KNEW I was having a girl. I was counting down the days to the BIG ultrasound that would confirm what I thought I already knew.....I would finally have my daughter...the daughter I have longed for ever since I was a little girl playing "dolls" with my sister.
So, I have decided that although I don't *officially* know it was a girl, in my heart this baby was a girl and I am going to give her the name Emelia Irene ~ named after both of my great grandmas who are watching her in heaven until I can get there and hold her and rock-a-bye her and sing to her and never let her go.